Grief is one of the drivers of genealogy, whether we acknowledge it or not, and a reason why most of us are middle-aged or older: only after losses brought by age do you feel the need to slow the decay involved in forgetting. So grief can be put to use. It can even be beautiful.
What brought an odd thought like this this to mind was listening to a folk-song, “The Lost Words Blessing”, part of a musical version of the children’s book The Lost Words. A 2017 collaboration between the nature writer Robert Macfarlane and the painter Jackie Morris, the book was a response to the exclusion of twenty names for everyday nature from the Oxford Junior Dictionary, due to their underuse by contemporary children. The lost words included such ordinary things as Acorn, Wren, Hare, Otter, Lark … Their omission from the Dictionary was simply recognition that nature has receded farther and farther from the lives of children, a tiny poignant symptom of the vast extinctions happening around us in the natural world as we consume more and more of it.
The paintings and poems in the book are extraordinary, and I have no doubt they succeed in their aim of intriguing children into love of these wonderful ordinary creatures who are leaving us forever. But the book is necessarily an elegy for the natural world it celebrates, with some of its beauty coming from that elegiac tinge.
In the song, that atmosphere becomes almost unbearably intense. The words bless a child entering into the world and pray for the child to recognize and take on the natural qualities of the heron and the kingfisher and the otter, even as the animals themselves are ceasing to exist. They will somehow survive in that way, as an afterlife, a glint of light in a starling’s eye reflected out into the universe “past dying stars exploding” – “Like the little aviator, sing your heart to all dark matter”.
It is a kind of survival, but only in the sense that our ancestors survive in a family tree. It is making beautiful use of grief.
As you might gather, I found the song very moving. That might have been due to listening to it on Hogmanay with a glass of whiskey in my hand and hearing a Scottish singer wonderfully rhyme Otter with Water. See what you think yourself. Song here, words here.
Happy New Year.
Thank you so much for sharing this! I’m a huge fan of Macfarlane! Perhaps you might be interested in his collaboration with Johnny Flynn whom I adore! He’s the one behind the ‘Detectorists’ soundtrack.
Ah…so beautiful. Thank you, John.
A lovely piece of writing yourself, John. Thank you and Happy New Year.
you are so right…I began my genealogy search in earnest when my father passed. It was my tribute to him to learn what I could about his ancestors. Thank you for this beautiful song
What a lovely poignant message for the start of a new year. Thank you for this and all the wonderful way you use words to help us find our ancestors
Such beautiful words!! Thank you for sharing.
Ah………what a true treasure! Thanks so much for sharing this with us (as I wipe away the tears).
Thank you so much for your thoughts and posting this.
A very beautiful piece of writing too 🙂
Beautiful John! And timely as I have been musing in this myself over the holidays as I live with the grief at the last of parents late last year. Adding their death dates to my family tree prompted the musing about sadness, grief, memory and genealogy. I will make time to listen to that song. Just not quite yet…Thanks for the link and the accompanying image of a melancholy whiskey moment 😉 Cheers
I’m ever so grateful to have received this today…hit me in my heart. I’m hoping to come back to Ireland within one year’s time and stay for as long as she allows. And, when I do, I will sing and live this song.
Thank you, John
This is exquisite John. Thank you. It will be prayer for this new year – to see more clearly.
Thank you so much for sharing this John. You have introduced me to music and writers I was hitherto unaware of. Beautiful and so poignant. My sort of music.
I’m still trying to get my head around the fact that these words were left out of the children’s dictionary, and why. Unbelievable.
John, I’ve never made that connection between the desire to retain family history and grief – but you are spot on. I look forward to getting your posts…always so interesting. Thanks for sharing!
I’m currently reading “Thirty-Two Words for Field- Lost Words of the Irish Landscape” by Manchan Magan. Irish language words lost due to their underuse is a main theme. It’s also resonating with me when I think about my family history and the loss of all those names. For us to be here, they had to be first. It’s a constant goal of mine to discover as many of my ancestors as I can. I want to give them life again through remembrance.
I have followed Jackie Morris’ work for years and continue to be entranced by her paintings. Thank you for such a thoughtful post as I think many of us pause to remember those who were loved and no longer with us, especially at this time of year.
Your beautiful blog post certainly got me to thinking and then feeling, which in turn led to a tear or two. I will be sharing this post far and wide. I’m also reminded of how often I thanked my Mother, and continue to thank her even after her passing, for keeping our ancestors alive through the stories she told. Thanks, Mom. And thank you, too, John.
P.S. I will be purchasing copies of the book for my four grandchildren.
This is just wonderful, John. Between your blog post and then the beautiful music, it brought tears to my eyes. Perhaps it’s the season when we think about loved one that are no longer with us.
Lovely and touching on so many levels. Thank you for sharing both the song and your words. I hope 2023 brings you many beautiful things.
Beautiful thoughts and music, John. Thank you for your post and all you do to help us family historians shine the light on those who went before us.
Thanks, John, for so eloquently describing how loss is often the driver of ancestry research, connecting us to those we have lost.
I so feel this! I have often found that the “long nights of high genealogy season” (aka winter 😉 bring me closer to my beloved grandmother who is the one who gave all her grandkids the “gateway drug” to our family history. It is strangely comforting to research the lives of the ancestors, and a bit of balm for the absence of the ones we knew, loved and dearly miss.
I am grateful I’m able to express some of those feelings in song too – this one speaks to this feeling, but also opens with a short rendition of a song written and published by my great grandfather of the same name – in 1906! May it bring you a few moments of comfort and joy too – https://andrewmcknight.bandcamp.com/track/margaret-treasures-in-my-chest
And most of all, thank you so much for sharing your expertise with the rest of us!